10 reasons why Jeremy Clarkson should leave Top Gear and be a Barista at LostCoffee.
Dear Jeremy Clarkson,
10 reasons why you should leave Top Gear now and be a Barista at LostCoffee.
- It’s cheaper to get a good beer buzz on at the altitude here in Colorado
- Eventually all cars will run on electricity(coal). So no sweet sound of exhaust; get out now.
- You're not getting any younger. Seriously friend, being a Barista is a much easier life. No Hammond, just steaming milk and pulling espresso shots. Drain cleaning isn’t as bad as Brittany says it is.
- Uniform included. Jeans are fine but Corduroy Blazers are currently not approved, but we can talk about that.
- Free coffee (while on shift)
- I have a ’69 VW Squareback or a ’13 MINI that you could drive back and forth to the shop, until you get back on your feet.
- Colorado has a Ferrari dealership, now.
- If you long for an adventure where someone drops you off in an unknown country and a tv crew follows you around. We could probably work out something in Costa Rica involving a coffee plantation. It would all need to fall under the heading of “Tax Write Off” #winkwink
- We are probably opening a few stores this year so there is opportunity for advancement(no promises)
- I can take a punch, and would probably be honest and say I deserved it.
Let me know, John